Pen the Goat

Part of my creative process right now is to start sharing my work with the world.  My favorite (ever) acupuncturist once told me that creating art is only half the creative process.  The other half is giving it to the world.  If you don’t do that second piece, you are blocking your energy…  Felt true enough for me.

It is really tough to get the courage to put my work out there.  Some of it I am really proud of.  I’ve submitted short stories, a novel, and poems, and been met with mostly rejection.  That’s the name of the game, right?  Everyone knows that you have to get rejected LOTS before getting accepted.  And it’s not that my ego is so tender I can’t handle the rejection, it’s honestly that I find the PROCESS OF SUBMITTING so tiring and tedious that I avoid it…  I guess I don’t have true hope that I’ll get published, so I don’t see the point in putting the work into it.

For that reason, I am more and more drawn to self-publish.  My writing, music, and art.  Put it up for free, and let people have it if they like it.  In that spirit, I put my 5 best songs up on SoundCloud last night:  https://soundcloud.com/mstrongheart  …  Then I shared one on facebook…

I immediately starting mentally beating myself up.  “What if those songs are total shit and I’m the only one who can’t tell?”  “Does sharing these songs with my friends make me look like a pathetic attention seeker?”  “If people say they like a song, do they really like it or do they just FEEL SORRY for me?”

That voice, that critic, is a hard one to shut up.  But that critic will ruin EVERYTHING if you let it.  I’ve learned that much so far.  When I hear that critic taking its seat in my brain I say, “Oh, thank you for that.  It’s not your turn to talk, though.”  And I make it go away.  Because that critic EATS your fucking creative process like a goat.  Like a judgmental, red-eyed, critical, insecure goat.  You’ve gotta pen that fucker in.  Or better yet, let it go into the great wild pastures that are FAR AWAY from your art.  It will always come back, of course, but the more you can learn to treat it lightly, with an air of amusement, the more you can stop taking its voice seriously.

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